DEPRESSION IS A REAL THING

Depression... oh! this is one of those things that most Africans say “white people shit” but I would tell you it really isn't, and I know that because I have met this b*tch myself.

We have many names for it, we call it loneliness, we call it witchcraft, we call it being sick but truth is its real and most of us have it.

Here are some symptoms of depression:

• You really don’t have an appetite for anything really , you can sit on one spot for hours and just stare at a dry wall or ceiling or worse, your phone! (this is the worst type)
• You are not really hungry or you are too hungry
•  The things that you normally do either interest you less or not at all, you would rather sit and do nothing
•  Your day begins with “oh shit… the sun is up again 
• You get lonely even when you are around people. There is nothing that can truly cheer you up.

The list can go on and on and on...

Sure! They could have come up with a better name to make most Africans take it more seriously but truth is we take our bad moods and depression on other people that we forget all about humanity,

Ever walked in an office and wondered about the other person? like why do you even work here? the sad part is that the other person might not even know.
The constant need of getting your bad mood, that you have no explanation to why you have it, is one way of forcefully believing you are making yourself feel better when honestly it isn't so.

Right around last year i felt like my back was against the wall, I did not like it, It did not feel like me.

I started seeking help and started tracing where it all started and I realized it had started a while back, it's just that i had only begun to notice it around that time. 

If you have read my previous post about Being Anastazia From Bulgaria you may get how such a situation can trigger depression.

I went on with it for days and days till I realized i have no plans of getting old in my bedroom and I wanted to started fighting it.

First, I decided to actually talk about it, I started with my family, if you can get a shrink or just someone that is not biased and truly gets you, you can start there. Talk! Talk! Talk! get it all out. Whether you notice the signs of depression or not, everybody needs to talk it out. Speak about your day, confront people when you aren't happy about something (be careful with words that you do not hurt the other person) remember, if at one point you feel like you need to trash talk someone else to make yourself feel better, it's about time you start looking for some self reflections.

Secondly, crazy as it sounds, I decided to download this app called “Wyssa” that well, most likely you are speaking to a bot! but believe me it is very helpful in keeping your thoughts out of the negativity. It was very helpful. And you can even get someone to talk to, you have to pay though... ( I didn't 😅)

Third, I started forcing myself to going back to my hobbies, writing, designing. At first I would feel so lazy to start but when i get into it I stick on and on through it.

Then at this point, I realized, its like working out, the more effective it is, the more your body screams stop!
I have worked so much in other people’s dreams that when I finally got off to start my own this bubble clouded me and got me thinking I wasn't in a good path. I just can’t explain how much of a toll it took from me. 

Some people still think I am crazy and yes I did a test and the results said I have a mild depression but this thing is real, why not live a happier life? Do you feel the happiness around you? How many times can you really smile in a single day for you and not because something bad happened to someone you don’t like or that something proved you right? When was the last time you truly did something for you? When was the last time you made yourself feel special?

Depression is not being crazy but the crazy thing is not believing every now and then you have to do a self check up, like the car with the service you need to treasure and service yourself.

Some people call me impatient or that I easily move on but why stick around if you are not happy? That doesn't make you an awful person or a whore even in a relationship contest, it just means you know what is best for you because happiness always starts with you.

ciao...
Stacy💕